It was bound to happen sooner or later, what with the North Pole’s famously lax network security, but Santa Claus has been hacked. He should have been using Norton Security, but that sugar cookie can’t be uneaten. Watch this video to see how Santa lost the yuletide nuclear launch codes, aka the Naughty List.
Santa is sweating. The Naughty List isn’t the only sensitive data he should have been protecting with Norton Security. Here are 10 more things Kris Kringle — if that’s even his real name — is worried about hackers finding on his computer:
- Insecure browser search history including “Is Santa Claus real?”
- Reams of wish-list metadata compiled for the government.
- Surprisingly good Harry Potter fanfic.
- Photos from a Halloween party where Santa went in “elf-face.”
- Esoteric ramblings RE: whether knowing if someone has been bad or good in fact predetermines their badness or goodness.
- What’s really inside that folder marked “Boring Stuff.”
- Software designed to cheat the sleigh emissions test.
- URL for the Naughty/Nice online doc, which if you can believe it anyone with the link can edit.
- Engineering diagrams for a “non-weaponized” coal-enrichment facility.
- Reindeer recipes.
Don’t get hacked like Santa. No matter the platform, add Norton Security to your wish list to protect all of your devices — and yourself — from cybercrime.
Hunter Slaton is the content director for Studio@Gawker.