We all know it’s true: Work sucks. The evils of capitalism are one thing, but having to deal with bumbling coworkers makes the 9-to-5 (or 7, or 8) all the more trying. Frustrating colleagues exist in a variety of forms, but there’s a special place in hell for the ones who you can literally never get a hold of. Let’s take a look at the worst types of offenders.
Whether he’s intentionally avoidant or simply oblivious, Mr. Elusive’s strongest skill in the workplace is basically doing nothing while seeming very, very important. Need his input on a project? He’s busy now, but he’ll get back to you later. (And by “later,” he means “never.”) Have a one-on-one meeting? He cancels it at the last minute due to “scheduling conflicts.” Good luck getting facetime with him before an important presentation. His elusiveness is commendable in some respects — anyone who manages to get paid to do as little as he does is impressive TBH — but it’s a royal pain in the ass to everyone who crosses his path.
Ms. Doesn’t Answer Emails is perpetually too busy to craft any sort of response to any e-correspondence. If it weren’t so passive aggressive, you’d drop her a line on basic communications etiquette, or note that 10 seconds is all it takes to send a simple one-line reply. You can only hope that she checks her inbox in spite of her radio silence. Beyond that, your best chance of connecting with her is hunting her down in the office and confronting her IRL, reality TV–style. If only everyone were required to turn on “read” receipts for their email.
No one can remember the last time they saw the Notorious O.O.T.O. in the flesh. Was it before his weeklong trip to Barbados, after he returned from his buddy’s wedding in another state, or before he contracted bronchitis? Regardless, you’ve become cynically accustomed to receiving automated O.O.T.O. responses from his email. It’s a complete mystery how he has accrued so much vacation time, and it’s really concerning that he’s sick so often. (We’re all secretly a little bit jealous.)
If you’ve ever had to deal with these shady characters, we feel your pain. What’s the most annoying experience you’ve had with an absent coworker? Comment below with your woes. And, the next time you encounter one of these workplace challenges, invite your hardest-to-reach coworkers to use join.me. The app lets you collaborate effortlessly with free screen-sharing, unlimited audio, and ridiculously simple video conferencing. There’s no registration required, and it’s built for both mobile and desktop, so even the busiest (and/or laziest) people have no excuses. Work definitely just got a whole lot better.
Angela Wang is a Senior Writer for Studio@Gawker.