The main problem I have with working out is myself. I can’t keep up with a rigid plan because I get lazy. And look, squats and push-ups are boring.
I’ve found that the Rx for this problem is to trick my dumb self by weaving in new exercises as often as possible. Try it. Working out will feel less repetitive, and your brain will be excited to do 100 jump squats in a row. Victory (not to mention searing pain in your quads whenever you sit) is yours.
This is why you have to try the Sasquatch Workout. It combines protein-packed Jack Link’s jerky with things found in nature (because, recycling) like logs, fish, and other woodland creatures to create a unique program that won’t bore you to tears. Really. Get started with the following two exercises, with their proper technique.
The Pike Press
Obviously, not many gyms carry stray fish on their racks, so instead I tried to find dumbbells roughly the weight of a pike, which Google informed me was about 35 pounds. Newly armed with fish knowledge, but also extremely lacking in upper-body strength, I grabbed two 15-pound dumbbells. If you’re lucky enough to have a pike or two at home, here’s the proper technique:
The Salmon Swing
Salmon is more common at my local grocery store than pike is, but I chose to spare my fellow gym-goers from that stank. The average size of a full-grown salmon ranges from eight to 57 (!) pounds, but for this move, I decided to try a kettlebell that was right in the middle at 32 pounds. This is still pretty heavy for me, so I had to make sure to brace my core and legs. It also helped when I bent my knees slightly as I swung the kettlebell across my body. Here’s how to do it:
Both of these moves are easy enough to do at home or outside with the right equipment (er, wildlife). And don’t be afraid to embrace your inner Sasquatch: With a little fish-fueled hard work, you’ll be rocking that wilderness bod in no time. And don’t forget to add some much-needed protein to your diet with Jack Link’s jerky.
Nandita Raghuram is a Senior Writer at Studio@Gawker. She tweets here.