So, the world ended. Aw, don't look so sad. Just because your hometown is now a post-apocalyptic hellscape teeming with aggressive mutants — you told them not to try that energy drink! — doesn't mean you can't have a little fun. Or a lot of fun! Need some ideas? Here's a handy guide to amusing yourself when all your friends and family are dead.
The crumbling of society is no excuse to stop bettering yourself. Get out of that panic room and see all the wonders a dead civilization has to offer. Also, since electricity probably isn't an option, you'll need to exercise your brain the old-fashioned way: by staring at crap that doesn't move.
Visit Some Museums
Those guards can't tell you the proper way to interact with the art anymore. They're mutants! Blow their heads off! Then you can hug as many statues and fix all the paintings you want. Slide down some dinosaur bones. It's the best!
Become a Fashion Plate
The snooty shopkeepers in that overpriced boutique around the corner have run screaming for their lives, meaning the place is ripe for looting. Forget raiding the register what do you need money for anyway? Now is the time to let your personal style truly shine. Think of it as an opportunity to totally customize your look.
Ugh, Read Some Books I Guess
Now that your Xbox One is inoperable, you'll have to divert your attention to some good old analog entertainment. Not that video games aren't a totally enriching pursuit, but think how smug you can be when you're impress all the other survivors with trivia about Marcel Proust's most comfortable pillow. (OK, fine, when that gets boring, go ahead — scavenge a generator and play some Xbox.)
You're filthy all the time, frequently eat bugs, and are prone to bouts of hysterical sobbing. That's no excuse not to live life to its fullest. Clean up your act!
Get A Mentor
Chances are good you've spent most of your life sitting on your ass in a cubicle instead of sensibly preparing . You need to find some over-prepared and probably-insane person to clue you in to everything the apocalypse has to offer. So, keep an eye out for potential mentors. (Hint: In Sunset Overdrive, that guy's name is Walter.) Admit it: you've always wanted a grizzled old vet to take you under his wing and teach you the ways of the world.
Upgrade Your Dumpy Rental
I know, I know – you're comfortable in your current pad. It's securely fortified, filled with rations, and it has nostalgia going for it. But consider this: all rich people are dead and their sweet mansions are going to waste. You're a one-percenter now — as in, you're part of the one percent of humanity still alive. You deserve an infinity pool and some silk pajamas. Just remember to vote Republic when the warlord elections roll around.
See The World
You can teach yourself to fly a plane now. Nobody's going to stop you. They say landing is the hard part, so why bother? Just parachute out of that shit. Any place you drop into automatically becomes an all-inclusive resort.
Now that the world is overrun with psychotic mutants, your normally unremarkable mug's starting to look almost sexy in comparison, right? Tinder might not be an option now that the internet's been wiped out, but who needs an app to find love when you're among the last people left in the dating pool? So forage in a dumpster for some cologne to spray on, find yourself another survivor, and head off to the nearest pristine Eden— okay, you can settle for an abandoned department store if you have to — so that the important task of repopulating the world can commence.
When you aren't running for your life, you gotta keep busy!
Get Your Dream Body
Still having trouble finding love? It's time to get in shape. Flip some tires and fling around thick ropes – instead of doing this pointless shit just to get your burn on, now you're reinforcing your post-apocalyptic lair! Plus, fitting your cardio into your routine will be easy when you're catapulting through empty parking garages and zip-lining across rooftops to evade the ever-growing army of cannibals chasing you.
Maybe you want to create a gun that fires vinyl records or strap a pistol onto a remote control helicopter? Your therapist was wrong — those are constructive ways of utilizing your creativity. Anyway, no one's going to call Homeland Security if you strap some dynamite to a teddy bear and fire it out of a crude catapult. Go nuts.
Start That Novel You've Been Thinking About
Good luck trying to find an agent, though.
How would you amuse yourself after the end of the world? Tell us in the comments! Then pre-order Sunset Overdrive and give your wild and crazy End of Days plans a test run.
Jeff Hart writes YA books about fugitive zombies. You can find him on Twitter.