Illustrations by Rob Dobi

Many have asked me why I’m not famous. It’s a fair question. I’m devastatingly handsome, supremely talented, and my baking skills are second to none. So, why am I not famous? It’s simple: I choose not to be.

I contend that fame has been ruined by social media, which demands that stars be plugged in at all times — and gives fans, paparazzi, and haters the means, and the incentive, to hound celebrities throughout their lives. This has helped facilitate the familiar cycle in which we build celebrities up only to tear them down once we grow tired of them. Sounds like a crappy deal to me!

If I had to choose one kind of stardom, I’d like to be “Harper Lee famous.” My girl had the right idea: Write one cherished, perfect book, then drop the mic and hide in a cave while the world desperately begs you for another work of genius. Yes, Lee did eventually fall prey to manipulative schemers who coerced her into publishing an embarrassing rough draft as a sequel. That just proves my point: The 21st century is the wrong time to be a celebrity.

But hey, plenty of people disagree. What do you think, Internet? Is fame for you? If so, what kind? Let us know in the comments. And on October 15 at 10/9c, check out the premiere of Showtime’s White Famous, the hilarious (and insightful) new comedy based on Jamie Foxx’s personal experiences as he navigated the treacherous waters of ever-increasing fame. If you can’t wait, watch the hilarious series premiere on YouTube for free now.

Tony Carnevale is a senior writer for Studio@Gizmodo.

This post is a sponsored collaboration between White Famous on Showtime and Studio@Gizmodo.